Imagine that

On Thursday I went to movies, watched the Quentin Tarantino film Inglourious Basterds. Absolutely loved it!! And I adore Lt. Aldo Raine. When I first saw the trailer I didn´t feel for him, it didn´t seem like a role for Brad Pitt. But he was fantastic in it. Just as he was in The curious case of Benjamin Button, dvd I watched yesterday. And since I was heading to downtown yesterday to buy that dvd, I also took a stroll in the library. I brought three books with me. And already I´m so fascinated about the one I started with I can barely sit here next to my computer. In fact, I wouldn´t want to leave the appartment at all today, I´d rather just lie in my bed with the book. But the good thing is that I need to go out, otherwise I´ll starve to hunger. Besides, it´s a beautiful day outside. On days like this I wished I had a balcony.

Anyway, the reason I´m writing about books and movies... they nourish my imagination. Once again, when I started to read (I started with the book of Torey Hayden: The Mechanical Cat) I started to feel that I should be writing more.. I´ve been thinking for years already that someday I´ll write a book.. Three books actually, all of them in a bit different genre. I´d like to write a fantasy book. Especially this feeling grows strong when I read books of R. A. Salvatore. If you´ve read one of his books, basically any of them goes, you know why I love his books. The way he describes Drizzt Do´Urden in the middle of a fight.. those are the moments when I fly high. :) And the dwarf named Pikel.. the cutest and funniest thing ever. Well, I´m getting off the track.. The writing thing.. I´d like to write a fantasy book. I have all the characters ready and the places mostly as well.. but the main part of the plot seems to hiding from me. And that´s the reason why I haven´t started yet, I suppose you could say that I´m scared. I have the same problem with my futuristic private detective-story as well as with the story about the retired assassin named Jeremiah Swan.. and I´m sort of scared to start the writing because I don´t know how those stories end.. I know I could just go with the flow, but.. what if I never reach the end of those stories.. and if (and I mean IF) I ever get those stories written, what happends then? Will anyone read them? Will someone find them interesting enough to be published?

It reminds me of the problem I have with drawing. I know I´m good at it. And people always find my drawings/paintings etc. good if not awesome. The problem is the fact that in drawing (probably in any creative thing I do) I´m perfectionist. No matter how many people say that my work is good, it´fine. it´s marvellous.. if I feel that one of the lines is misplaced 1 mm, I can´t feel satisfied with the work. And it makes me sort of scared, scared of taking a pen and placing it on a paper. I find this weird. I´m not this strict about other things in my life. I´m the kind of person that doesn´t judge anybody straight ahead, I´ll go with the flow and I´m scared of nothing.. You can basically talk me into all sort of crazy things just by saying that I don´t dare to do it.. but these things... I´ll just freeze.

I guess I´ll keep on warming up.. writing this blog. And maybe one day I´ll find myself brave enough, or I´ll figure out the plot of those stories and I´ll just write them..