Book cover

Tonight I designed a book cover for my NaNoWriMo project with the help of my little sister. It can be seen here.

Frustrated

I can´t wait NanoWriMo to begin... I have my plot, main characters, the place, the who, the what, the when and where.. My novel doesn´t have a name yet but it´s the smallest part of my problems right now.. Because I´m starting to doubt my idea. It´s a good story, I know it. But I´ve been going through NaNo forums and it seems like everybody is writing more or less fantasy.. and it seems like nobody gets caught to my idea. I know I am late when asking a mentor and that there still is time, four days, before NaNo officially starts.. but I´m getting nervous.. actually so nervous that I haven´t yet translated my CV to English and I need it tomorrow!! I´ve planned going to trade fair where I might find my new employer. Job interview has never been easier to get.. and I haven´t prepared myself.. well, I´ll guess I´ll stay up late even tonight.

Guess I´ll watch Sandhogs and get to the translation after that...

Edit: I came up with two names.. thanks to my little brother John for assistance.. I chose the name "Pocket full of stars".

Something going on?!

I woke up nearly two hours ago. I´ve been turning around in my bed, listening all the noise people make when the building is slowly waking up. I tried to fall asleep again but not a chance. I must be getting sick, why else would I wake up this early..

Well anyway, as said I was lying in my bed and listening. Heard all kind of stuff. One neighbour singing something or at least trying to sing. It sounded as annoying as the piano upstairs. I don´t think the owner of that piano have played one song from the beginning to its end. I heard alarm clock wake someone up at seven. Now it´s 8.40 a.m. and someone is already using vacuum cleaner upstairs.

But I´m kind of enjoying this. I had the time to think while I was still in bed. I believe I came up with an idea what to write when participating NaNoWriMo and I think that´s a good thing. I believe now I finally dare to sign up. But first I think I´ll have a cup of tea and something to eat with it because I´m dying of hunger.

Be my penguin?

Started my morning by listening some music from YouTube and in some point came to this video. So I ended up surfing and searching for Pon and Zi -pictures. They are absolutely adorable!!! (You´ll find the link under title "These I follow".)

That´s about all I have to tell you about my day. I´ve been such a lazy ass lately.. surfing the net, watching TV, lying on the bed, eating, sleeping.. basically haven´t done anything useful.. Feels like I´ve lost my inspiration.. I have alot of ideas and I want to do stuff.. I just don´t get anything started. Guess I need some serious ass-kicking. :) Any volunteers?!?

all rights Jeff Thomas/Azuzephre

And today came christmas..

Today I got my first christmas present. My friend bought me a ticket to Sebastian "Skid Row" Bach concert in December. Jeeeiiii!!!

Explanation

Today I feel like I need to explain my previous blog entry. I was watching a movie: The fast and the furious -Tokio drift and there they spoke about that feeling they get while driving fast with their cars. "It feels like..", he starts. And she ends the sentence:"It feels like there´s no past or future." I liked what I heard. Because it would be nice if one could live like that. Not having the weight on your shoulders of things happened in your past. Or forced to plan ahead for the future. It would be more than perfect to live like there´s no tomorrow, live now, this moment. But unfortunately some of us aren´t born under the lucky stars. Some of us have to plan their lives ahead, at least so much that you know your bills get paid in time, where you get money for food, that you have a place to live and sleep..

If I could live totally without worries I would take the money on my account and take the first flight to one of my best friends. He is hanging around somewhere in Asia at the moment. I would take a couple of drinks under the palm trees, enjoy the warm weather and just relax, have fun. I would give my friend a hug.. or ten, because I really miss him and his positivity. I miss his midnight text messages in my phone and the phone calls in 4 or 6 am.. "Where are you, you´re not in the bar?! Are you getting old?!?" or "I´m walking home from the bar and had nothing else to do, so I called you." He knew I had my phone next to my bed, sounds on and everything. He knew I would answer at all times.

Especially these dark, lonely nights at home make me wish I were someplace else. Somewhere in the sun, travelling with no other worries than where to go next. But still I sit here, knit those woolen socks I´m soon starting to hate (at least occasionally) and wait for some miracle to happen. A miracle that would take away all of my worries and finally give me the chance to do all the things I´ve been dreaming of..

Don´t you wish sometimes..

..that there´s no past or future.

It´s been awhile

It´s been awhile from my last writing in here. I´ve been kind of busy. Busy thinking, feeling and doing everything else. I´ve had problems concentrating to writing.. or sitting at one place. And yet I´ve been so lazy. I´ve done nothing really. Except knitting. And reading. And watching TV. But now I thought I´d give it a try.. I´ll try to sit still long enough to publish this post..

So, where should I start... Maybe the first day of this month.. Thursday. I took off from my appartment quite early, headed towards Salo. I had agreed to meet my cousin and my brothers wife and friend there and continue the trip with them to my brothers place for a couple of days. The reason why we met in Salo was simple. Otto, son of my cousin, wanted to get to a carousel. And so we walked to market fair. And Otto got to a carousel. A couple carousels. Here is a picture of him in one of them.

The day was quite nice, sun was shining and yet it was cold, it wasn´t too cold. Even my nephew, that cute little thing, was so brave and interested about everything around him, that he missed a couple of naps and a couple of meals too.. but boy, was he hungry and tired when we got home. :)

So, I spent couple of days at my brothers place, had nice time just playing cards, eating well, talking, amusing that little sugar.. I can´t really say that my friends tend to sit evenings at my place (or vice versa) playing cards and just.. relax. Can you believe that even though I had my laptop with me, I took it from my bag for the first time on the fourth day of my journey...!!!

On Saturday I took my brothers car and my nephew and we went to my dads. Brother wanted to have some private time (sleeping) with his wife so we took off with the little boy. Spent the Saturday at my dads. The little fellow is growing so fast. Seemed he had some growing pain in his legs ´cause he wouldn´t sleep until I massaged his legs so that he calmed down. Or he´s getting more teeth.. but he fell asleep after I massaged his legs so...

On Sunday I visited my mum. Packed the car full of stuff, then drove back to dads, packed the boy and his stuff into the car and headed back to my brothers. We went through all the stuff I brought from my mum and on Monday I came back home to my own appartment. And since then I´ve basically done nothing...

Lately I´ve felt I should be somewhere else, doing something else.. I´ve been dreaming about travelling, maybe to London or Paris, all around in Italy.. maybe even work abroad. But as always it is a question about money. In December I´ll get my tax return, but is it enough.. I do have rent to pay, student loan and all the other stuff... will there be anything left for travelling..? At least for a weekend in London.. or a day in Stockholm?? Anything would be nice change at the moment.. I feel like I don´t belong here, I´m feeling restless.. yet I wouldn´t want to stay away too long and miss to see that little cutie to grow, learn to talk and walk.. It´s hard you know, wanting to be the best aunt ever... ;)