Explanation

Today I feel like I need to explain my previous blog entry. I was watching a movie: The fast and the furious -Tokio drift and there they spoke about that feeling they get while driving fast with their cars. "It feels like..", he starts. And she ends the sentence:"It feels like there´s no past or future." I liked what I heard. Because it would be nice if one could live like that. Not having the weight on your shoulders of things happened in your past. Or forced to plan ahead for the future. It would be more than perfect to live like there´s no tomorrow, live now, this moment. But unfortunately some of us aren´t born under the lucky stars. Some of us have to plan their lives ahead, at least so much that you know your bills get paid in time, where you get money for food, that you have a place to live and sleep..

If I could live totally without worries I would take the money on my account and take the first flight to one of my best friends. He is hanging around somewhere in Asia at the moment. I would take a couple of drinks under the palm trees, enjoy the warm weather and just relax, have fun. I would give my friend a hug.. or ten, because I really miss him and his positivity. I miss his midnight text messages in my phone and the phone calls in 4 or 6 am.. "Where are you, you´re not in the bar?! Are you getting old?!?" or "I´m walking home from the bar and had nothing else to do, so I called you." He knew I had my phone next to my bed, sounds on and everything. He knew I would answer at all times.

Especially these dark, lonely nights at home make me wish I were someplace else. Somewhere in the sun, travelling with no other worries than where to go next. But still I sit here, knit those woolen socks I´m soon starting to hate (at least occasionally) and wait for some miracle to happen. A miracle that would take away all of my worries and finally give me the chance to do all the things I´ve been dreaming of..