Just saying...

That bitch ruins all the good guys if given the chance..

Overload

You may have noticed that I haven't been writing lately.. Long story short, I'm just tired. I have plenty of ideas, subjects that I'd love to write about but work/practise is wearing me down. And not only that. Since I don't really get paid (9 euros per day count as nothing) for this practise I constantly worry about money and getting along financially. So yes, I'm tired. And it doesn't show only in my blog. My fridge is pretty much empty all the time, I don't even have the energy to follow those blogs I usually read with great joy. But maybe soon. Maybe already this coming weekend. The sun is shining a little here and there and it seems to help. My iPod is still dead but I ordered (even though I really can't afford to buy anything) a new  MP3-player (temporary solution for so long I get enough money for new iPod) so maybe I'll get back to my running exercises and such. Small but meaningful things.

I wish sunny days to all of us!!

Stress level high/breaking down

Overwhelming stress is pushing me down, towards the ground.. Feel like I can't take it for long.. tired, mentally, just want to cry. Out of money, can't pay my bills.. reposessors will probably soon be knocking behind my door.. work/practice has killer schedules and it's taking over my thoughts even on free time..  my back and my hands are killing me, hurts like hell.. my iPod broke down and I can't live without my music.. can't sleep because worrying all the time.. even breathing is getting harder day by day..

Life is simply too hard at the moment..how much one can take, how much one have to suffer..??

I know I can't take this much longer.. I need help. I need a hug. I need a job that gives me paychecks that pays my bills. I need that special someone. I need to get out of this shit. I need a break.. before I break.