Me vs. Me

And so was the weekend gone again and we need to face Monday again. I had a pretty, ehhmmm.. interesting..?? weekend. Occasionally I was feeling like I was in the middle of a war zone when disputing with me, myself and I. My friends in high school used to think that I have two personalities in me, they even named those personalities. Linda was the more serious, a bit sad and gloomy personality. The lively, happy personality with sparks in her eyes was known as Alanis. That's because at that time I looked a lot like her, Alanis Morissette, I mean.

 Well, anyway.. about my weekend. Friday was pretty much perfect. As I told I went to a gig to listen that troubadour, friend of mine. Had a blast!! Laughed so much again. And as I got home, I was still feeling happy, couldn't stop smiling. Fell asleep with a smile on my face. Then came Saturday morning... I was feeling totally down.. I was feeling only-lonely.. feeling antisocial.. yet craving for some TLC.. I was almost like a coma patient, sitting in front of my computer just staring blankly to the screen, not able to act.. The KIP-picnic.. I didn't go. I just couldn't get that much out of me, I spent most of the day with my morning gown on.. I had been also invited to a party on Saturday. I fought with myself all day long.. to go, not to go, to go, not to go... I desided to skip it. And then he called. Around 9 pm my phone rang and there was my friend, my voice with a smile, asking if I'm coming or not.. I told that I was feeling antisocial.. He said it's all fine, I'll come visit him some other time. After the call I fought myself again, ten minutes perhaps.. I desided to go after all.. I called him back when I was leaving from my courtyard. Said that I was coming. He said I was welcome.

I arrived there after 20-30 minutes of biking. Inside was about ten-fifteen people. Spent about three hours there with those people, emptied my wine bottle, slowly climbed up from the black hole I created.. left with the same door opening with last guests. Biking home in the pouring rain. I didn't mind, I was feeling fine. Rain is our thing, inside joke in which he calls up a rain everytime I'm on my way home after spending time with him.. I was soaking wet from the rain and sweat when I got home. Took a warm shower and went to bed.

Sunday was one of those in-between days.. not feeling really happy or sad.. just spending time, not feeling anything special. Worked a bit with Photoshop, ate well and watched TV. Went to bed quite late and woke up even later this Monday morning.. I had my morning tea listening Foo Fighters from Spotify. Feeling pretty mellow, a bit melancholic, sort of happy-sad, if you know what I mean.. Waiting for what the day brings..