Summertime

So, the first leg of my summer vacation is behind and I'm back at work. Waking up early in the mornings seems awfully difficult. The weather and the vacation was partly a disappointment. I guess I had a bit too high expectations.. Since me and my spouse had vacation the same time, I was expecting our relationship to be somewhat a priority to my spouse as well during the vacation. But he was more in the sleeping/going out -mode. We sorted things out though and the end part of vacation was very relaxing. I did take a day-trip to the island of Vepsä. I also went to a couple of gigs, took photos and relaxed in the chair of my hair stylist. (I'm back to being a redhead again.) I also sewed quite a lot and read two books, ate breakfast on the balcony and so on. But I still sort of hope we would've done more out of the usual things together or taken (half) a day to go someplace not-so-obvious.

Next week I'll take one day off of work again and take off to Sweden. My sister's son is being named and I'm going there with my father to celebrate the little fellow. In the end of August I'll have the second part of my vacation. In a way I sort of would've wanted to take the vacation all at once but then again I think it's a good idea to break the autumn a bit, to shorter work periods. Maybe that way the work doesn't get that overpowering. Hopefully that way I can avoid burnout.. Because that was what I noticed during my vacation: I have been (and still am a bit) tired both physically and emotionally. And it was also a part of the disappointment.. I guess I felt a bit left alone by my spouse and especially just when I needed a hug and him telling me that he'll be there for me, he'll take care of everything so that I can take a break and just breathe. Even now I feel a bit teary-eyed because of the tiredness. And why I'm so tired? Well, let's just put it this way: if I would get a significant amount of money right now, I would quit in a heartbeat, buy myself a hiding place and stay there for a long time, just taking photos, painting and drawing, sitting on the porch drinking my morning coffee, reading and writing, taking long, slow walks through the forest or by the sea.. anything but work.

Luckily, there still is plenty of vacation AND summer left, so I can do at least some of those things.